I feel so unexplainable, i'm neither sad nor happy anymore. I don't want to be someone that goes on and on about how miserable their lives are, but I mean, its difficult sometimes especially when i'm alone. Alone meaning I can't really talk to anyone anymore, not really because I can't but more of I won't. It'll just be another burden for them, so I do my best to keep my mouth shut. Who am I kidding? I'm not happy at all, but maybe that's part and parcel of growing up or being a teenager? It is a void I have to get past, or I will never ever truly become myself. As the saying goes, 'I won't be able to love another, if I can't love myself'. I need a 'break' from the social aspects in my life right now, and concentrate on myself, as selfish as it seems, I need to be proud of myself before I can respect others. I want to show everybody that I am more than capable to grow into my own skin and become the person i've always wanted to be. I want to grow up, no. I need to grow up. No more being that innocent girl with a fairytale impression of life. Things can be so clear, when your life is more fucked up than you expected it to be. Goodnight, I hope it gets better with time.
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